Reflective
Writing
There is an old saying in China, ‘The
destinations of lives are the same, however, routes are different’. What is the
true meaning of human lives? This doubt remains in my mind for years.
Such question first came up at my age of
nine, when I buried myself in studying Chinese history. Lives were as light as
dust in those ages that tens of thousands of people died in each of the combats
or political conflicts. I started wondering why the warriors and assassins were
prepared to sacrifice their lives to show the loyalty to their lord, while other
careerists could risk all cost even their lives competing for the dreamed power
and dignity. As a nine-year-old kid in that time, although equipped with plenty
of historic facts to analyze, I lacked true life experience to judge.
I then received an offer to one of the best
middle schools in my city. There I once heard a word of Ludwig van
Beethoven, ‘I will take fate by
the throat, and it will not bend me completely to its will’. I believed once in that time that a real man’s aim during his living
time is to dominate his fate, and the meaning to do this is to stand out in the
river of history. Those are such pleasant times compared to these years that my
grades kept ranked top in my school, getting academic awards and winning metals
with my team in sports and chess campaigns at the same time. Things were just going
in the right way, and I became kind of idealistic until everything had a sharp
change.
Six years later, finally I ended my high school and attended the
Chinese Gaokao. With three points less, I missed my dreamed university.
Although getting other offers from America and Singapore, my heart broke. I can
still remember the time I checked my score online. With a glance on the screen
of my laptop, I then moved slowly to the windows, standing there and staring
outside for hours, meditating and worrying my future. I realized the power of
the fate at that time, and it bent me finally. Never had I seriously considered
going college aboard. Lonely and helpless, the decision was hard to make. However,
in the most difficult time, I gained advice and comforts from my parents, my
grandparents, and many of my friends. I listened to the advice of one of my friends
and came to NUS at last. The experience this time changed me a lot on my
attitude towards life. The situations in one’s life are always not under
control, but this doesn’t tell life is meaningless, for family and friends
carry the same or even more significance as career. I have known from then on that I should live my life for
the ones who love me, and the ones I love.
