Reflective Writing

Reflective Writing

 

There is an old saying in China, ‘The destinations of lives are the same, however, routes are different’. What is the true meaning of human lives? This doubt remains in my mind for years. 

Such question first came up at my age of nine, when I buried myself in studying Chinese history. Lives were as light as dust in those ages that tens of thousands of people died in each of the combats or political conflicts. I started wondering why the warriors and assassins were prepared to sacrifice their lives to show the loyalty to their lord, while other careerists could risk all cost even their lives competing for the dreamed power and dignity. As a nine-year-old kid in that time, although equipped with plenty of historic facts to analyze, I lacked true life experience to judge. 

I then received an offer to one of the best middle schools in my city. There I once heard a word of Ludwig van Beethoven, ‘I will take fate by the throat, and it will not bend me completely to its will’. I believed once in that time that a real man’s aim during his living time is to dominate his fate, and the meaning to do this is to stand out in the river of history. Those are such pleasant times compared to these years that my grades kept ranked top in my school, getting academic awards and winning metals with my team in sports and chess campaigns at the same time. Things were just going in the right way, and I became kind of idealistic until everything had a sharp change. 

Six years later, finally I ended my high school and attended the Chinese Gaokao. With three points less, I missed my dreamed university. Although getting other offers from America and Singapore, my heart broke. I can still remember the time I checked my score online. With a glance on the screen of my laptop, I then moved slowly to the windows, standing there and staring outside for hours, meditating and worrying my future. I realized the power of the fate at that time, and it bent me finally. Never had I seriously considered going college aboard. Lonely and helpless, the decision was hard to make. However, in the most difficult time, I gained advice and comforts from my parents, my grandparents, and many of my friends. I listened to the advice of one of my friends and came to NUS at last. The experience this time changed me a lot on my attitude towards life. The situations in one’s life are always not under control, but this doesn’t tell life is meaningless, for family and friends carry the same or even more significance as career. I have known from then on that I should live my life for the ones who love me, and the ones I love.